It's been too long since I've written, I apologize!  We have a full blown toddler on our hands!  Raven turned one on March 19 and had her birthday party surrounded by about 30 family members in our home on March 23.  She really loved her smash cake to the point of screaming and wailing when I took it away knowing any more of that cake was going to make her sick as a dog.  She is walking so well to the point of being able to walk faster than me at times!  It's so funny to hear the pitter patter back and forth on our hardwood floor when Raven plays.  This is a cliche mom statement but she is a joy and am so lucky to be her mom!

On a more serious note,  my health has not been very good at all for almost a year which has made watching a baby harder than it should be sometimes.  I have already had fibromyalgia for 19 years, but have had bad stomach issues since late May.  On top of that, I've had brain fog (sorry if I forget to return a phone call!), lightheadedness, exhaustion/weakness, headaches, and am down to 12 lbs less than my pre baby weight (which is BAD because I'm a naturally thin girl to begin with).  I've had doctors guess ulcers, but that was ruled out, than a gallbladder which actually was infected and taken out, then when these symptoms did not stop, doctors just said it's stress.  Since I had seen so many doctors, I just took the stress diagnosis (though I have had much worse stress in my life without these issues) and tried to work on relaxation.  Last month, I got fed up losing more weight, feeling lousy, and knew something wasn't right and it wasn't related to stress.  I went to a new GI doctor who recommended a gastric emptying scan based upon my symptoms.  The test revealed I have gastroparesis which means my stomach is slow at digestion which you can get due to diabetes or some unknown reason.  It's from damage to the nerve signals responsible for your stomach to churn away your food and empty it into the intestines.  There are days Raven eats more than I do because I have very little appetite and when I do, I either get full quickly or feel sick and tired about 1-2 hours after I eat (it's the same feeling you get when you are in the very beginning stage of the stomach flu where you feel like your stomach is feeling funky, thank God for anti nausea meds!)  I don't see my GI until Tuesday to go over a treatment plan for me yet.  I've been trying to eat easy to digest food and drinking my calories but obviously haven't been able to enough to up my weight, grr!  I really hope treatment works because I honestly can't afford to lose anymore weight and I can't be as active as I'd like.

I know I can't help how I got FMS and gastroparesis, but I hope to feel better in order to work again and be able to run around with Raven instead of watching her play while I'm curled up on the couch in pain.  I don't want her to ever feel like I don't want to play with her or to think of me as a sick mom.  This is the main reason I've tried so hard to get answers to my symptoms so that I can be treated appropriately and be a more active, fun mom since that is what she deserves.  I'm just lucky Raven is healthy and happy.  I don't know how I could cope with a child who feels sick everyday.  I'm also lucky I have a husband who is a very good father and can run around with Raven more than me.  Finally, I'm glad that my symptoms aren't from a terminal illness.  There is always a silver lining no matter what life throws you your way!